Oh wait why am I here ?

So here I am trying to figure out what I want to do with myself, particularly job wise. Outside of work I have a pretty good handle on what I want to do, I’m still working on some parts of how and where but i’m feeling ok about it.

This week the job-wise question walked me smack into that most basic and irritating and exciting of questions… why am I here?

I’m coming to the plate a little late, which I find pretty irritating, but I’ve shown up so I’m moving past that.

I recently realized that I definitely had goals, big ones, good ones, but a few of them were really big, and I knew would be very hard, I’d accepted that I would work on those for my whole life, and really I was ok with that. I thought if I can accomplish these, if I can make progress, I’ll be doing right by the time I have here. Then, sort of all of a sudden, I accomplished them all. Seriously.

So first off… yay me !

Then I realized, wait, what am I going to do now. I’ve been writing a bit about my adventures in this area, you can find em here on the blog.

This week I stumbled into the next question: why do I want to do that. Now that I have an idea of what I want to do, I had to ask, why that and not this or the other thing, and then, why do anything at all. Wham. Damn. That’s kind of a big one.

I’m giving this some thought, trying not to make myself crazy, which seems to be a risk when pondering questions like this.